Braydon

Ethan & Beau’s wedding day…

Saturday, March 22, 2014

Braydon Walker

Getting my feet to move in time with the music was harder than I anticipated. It had nothing to do with the fact that I was a poor dancer, either. In fact, I wasn’t all that bad.

At least I didn’t think so.

Since I had yet to trample any feet with my size thirteens, I considered that a good thing.

No, for me, there was a simple explanation for the figurative two-ton boulder sitting on my chest today. The one that made me ache with a need so intense, I sometimes forgot how to breathe.

She was always the answer to every unexplained reaction I had these days.

Jessica Prescott, better known to us all as Jessie, aka Kylie Walker’s younger sister, aka Travis’s sister-in-law. Yep, Jessie was the woman who kept me in a state of high alert. On every count.

Because of her, or rather, because of my overwhelming feelings for her, I felt as though I was dragging the bottom of a raging river, my head barely above water. No matter how many branches flew past my head, I couldn’t seem to grab on to one and pull myself to safety. The only thing I wanted to do was to grab hold of something … anything.

But like Jessie, salvation was always just out of reach, leaving me grasping but still coming up empty.

Not that it was bad. That wasn’t necessarily the right word for it. No, what I was feeling was intense, magnified by the reckless ache I had developed over the past few months. And I wasn’t opposed to the feeling, it just wasn’t what I had anticipated for the first time I fell in love with a woman. Everything seemed to be back-ass-ward from what I would’ve expected.

Love.

Damn, the word even sounded strange in my head, but I had accepted that there wasn’t any other way to explain the feelings I had for this woman.

The bigger issue was the fact that Jessie was our friend with benefits. Our referring to me and my twin brother, Brendon. The sad part … it was even more complicated than that, thanks to the unconventional nature of our friendship.

The friend part didn’t bother me. It was the benefits aspect that I was having an issue with. Ever since the beginning, for whatever fucked-up reason, my hard-on for Jessie wasn’t purely a physical reaction. Well, technically it was, but there was more to what I felt for her than just simple lust.

As for Brendon, I knew my identical twin cared about Jessie. But I also knew there weren’t any deep feelings between them. Yet something between the three of us was off.

Until Jessie had walked into our lives last year, appearing out of the blue at the same time her sister Kylie showed up in Coyote Ridge, I had been happy with the ebb and flow of my life. For reasons that a shrink would likely have a field day with, I had been content with sharing women with my twin. Hell, up to that point, we’d lived by one main rule—variety was key. And maybe because of that, no one had ever captured my attention.

Damn sure not the way Jessie did.

Before she came along, I had experienced countless threesomes where my only intention was to pleasure a woman beyond her wildest imagination. Anything that went on outside of the bedroom was pretty much immaterial by design. It was a path that Brendon and I had taken since we were old enough to realize our passionate fascination with women. And it had worked, too.

There had only been one flaw in that plan. Neither of us had bothered to update our woman code since we were young and dumb and…

Up to this point, I had never encountered a woman I wanted to hold on to—not since the first girl we had both kissed back in the sixth grade. Apparently, thinking about the future had never occurred to me because, in my world, one plus one equaled three. For sure when it came to my sex life.

Yet here I was, holding Jessie against me, the warm, smooth skin of her back beneath my fingertips, swaying to a slow song in the middle of the elaborately decorated reception hall, and I still found it hard to breathe around her. The sweet scent of her golden-brown hair, the way her body moved perfectly with mine, and the sexy way she laughed… Every single one of my senses was well aware of her at all times.

I got lost in the slow country tune, focused on the way she swayed against me. She smelled so damn sweet. Like lavender and a hint of vanilla, a fragrance I’d grown quite fond of.

“You okay?” Jessie whispered in that sexy, husky tone I loved, pulling back and staring into my eyes.

I swore I could see so much emotion in the beautiful blue depths of her gaze. The way Jessie looked at me, spoke to me… I noticed a difference in the way she responded to me as opposed to her reactions to Brendon recently, but I’d feared reading too much into it. As much as I wanted to believe she felt something for me, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to deal with the truth if I were wrong.

Smiling, I felt the insistent punch of my heart in my chest. I couldn’t find the words to answer her, my throat closing as I looked down at the most stunning woman in the room.

“The ceremony was beautiful,” she stated, obviously wanting to make small talk.

As far as I was concerned, I just wanted to hold her against me; words were merely an interruption I didn’t much care for at the moment.

“Yeah,” I croaked, forcing the word out through the lump in my throat.

Jessie was referring to the ceremony that had resulted in my brother Ethan and his better half, Beau, tying the knot. At least as tight as the state of Texas would allow them to anyway. It had certainly been a day chock-full of enthusiasm and well-deserved celebration.

I would’ve never thought Ethan, the loner of the family, would find love, much less open himself up enough to let it in. Considering Ethan had spent the majority of his life purposely avoiding permanent relationships because of a brutal incident he’d experienced as a teenager, something he had recently revealed to my family, I was happy he had finally come around. Of course, we all knew Beau Bennett wasn’t one to sit on the sidelines, and from the rumors I had heard, the man had steamrolled right over Ethan’s arguments throughout their brief yet intense courtship. Which had led to a union that I figured would last until the end of time.

Lucky them.

I could admit that I was somewhat jealous of the relationships my brothers had found. I wanted what they had. The love Travis shared with Kylie and Gage, the pure adoration between Kaleb and Zoey, the intense heat that transpired between Zane and V, and, yes, the deep affection that Ethan and Beau had found together.

I should’ve been fighting for what I wanted, but like now, I was settling just to have Jessie to myself for a little while, sharing a simple dance while happy couples shuffled around us.

Settling because the alternative just seemed like a mountain I wasn’t ready to scale.

Jessica Prescott

I was lost in the warmth of Braydon’s arms. Overwhelmed by the feel of him against me, the hard planes of his chest against my breasts, the silky softness of his dark hair beneath my fingertips, the delicious, spicy scent of him. For the last few minutes, I’d nearly forgotten where I was and why I was there. But that wasn’t a new occurrence for me. Especially when I was with Braydon.

The way he held me, almost reverently, his big hands gently caressing my lower back, his lips brushing my forehead every so often… It was enough to make my hopes soar. This was what I’d longed for, these few minutes I could steal with this man. I could forget all about the course my life was on and pretend that I wasn’t fumbling blindly through each day, wanting something I couldn’t have.

Something I wasn’t supposed to want.

But I did. Oh, how I did. Because in my heart, I knew that Braydon was different from the men in my past. He wasn’t going to hurt me, at least not physically.

All in all, it still boiled down to the fact that I fell in love too easily and far too often.

Braydon Walker had taken me completely by surprise from the moment I met him. Well, to be fair, I’d been rather captivated by his twin, Brendon, just as much, but in an entirely different way. While I was attracted to both men, it hadn’t taken long for me to realize that I had begun to feel something for Braydon. Something powerful. Something I’d sworn I wouldn’t feel again.

And to my credit, I’d managed to fool everyone else, just not myself. However, there was that tiny piece of me that refused to get too attached because in my brief experience with men, love usually ended with pain.

Braydon’s fingers caressed my bare back, over the small expanse of skin that was exposed by my gown, sending an electric charge along every nerve ending in my entire body. The ridiculously expensive teal-blue sheath that I’d splurged on just for this occasion, just for this reason, was nearly nonexistent in the back, leaving plenty of room for Braydon’s warm, callused hands to graze lightly, something I’d found him doing quite often since he pulled me into his arms. When his eyes widened upon seeing me earlier in the day, I’d no longer regretted the dent that particular shopping expedition had made in my checking account. That moment, and this one, had been worth every single penny.

As I leaned into Braydon, his presence overwhelmed me, consumed me on all levels. Although my shoes were killing my feet, I liked that they gave me additional height, bringing me closer to Braydon’s six-foot-four-inch frame, although he still had several inches on me. I felt as though I was made to fit in his arms, against his big body. For whatever reason, I felt safe with him, and that was something I needed.

Braydon shifted our direction easily, his hands squeezing me ever so lightly, making me feel cherished. He was still looking down at me, our eyes locked together as though we were the only two people in the room.

But we weren’t. We were surrounded by Ethan’s family and friends, all of them here to celebrate the union of the two men who’d recently announced their desire to make their relationship permanent. And I knew I should be cognizant of who was watching us, but I couldn’t help myself. As much as I wanted to blame it on the wine I’d had earlier, I couldn’t even do that much. This was what I wanted, what I’d wanted for so long.

Braydon.

Only Braydon.

Forcing my gaze from his, I glanced around the room, curious as to who might be watching us and what they might see when they did. I slowly perused the room, noticing Lorrie and Curtis dancing a few feet away, neither of them paying attention to anyone but the other. They were such a lovely couple, and after all the years they’d been married, the adoration they felt for one another was clearly expressed on their aging faces. Even now, as they edged closer to seventy, they were an incredibly attractive couple, Curtis with his rugged good looks and Lorrie with her sweet, simple style.

I noticed Zane and V dancing, too. Zane being Zane, always the cutup, was copping a feel with a mischievous smirk aimed at V. I admired the way those two were clearly hot for one another, and after all they’d endured back when Zane was attacked over a year ago, it was nice to see that they’d come this far.

As I scanned the room again, my gaze landed on my sister, currently wrapped in Gage’s arms, a huge grin on her face. I envied what my sister had found in the arms of two men who obviously cared so deeply for her and for each other. The three of them were perfect together. My gaze strayed away from the pair and landed on Travis, who was deep in conversation with Sawyer, both men laughing, clearly enjoying themselves.

As I clung to Braydon, relishing the way he continued to caress my skin so lightly, I noticed Kaleb and Zoey sitting at one of the cloth-covered tables, their son, Mason, cradled in Kaleb’s arms while they leaned close and talked. I had fallen in love with that baby as much as everyone else had since the moment he was born. Watching the doting parents caused a strange pang in my chest.

Shoving off the envious response, I glanced away, my gaze immediately landing on…

Oh no.

Brendon was talking to Cheyenne Montgomery.

Not that I was all that surprised. I had known for some time now that Brendon had a thing for Cheyenne. It was obvious in the way he talked about her, although he rarely did. And when Brendon looked at Cheyenne … it reminded me of the way Travis looked at Kylie and Gage, or the way Braydon looked at me. There was a sense of wonder in Brendon’s brooding expression, and as much as I knew he was trying to deny what he might feel for Cheyenne, it was unmistakable.

And no, I wasn’t jealous. Not in the least.

Should I be? Maybe.

But I wasn’t. And the sole reason was the man in my arms.

“What the fuck?”

Speaking of the man in my arms…

I came to an abrupt stop thanks to Braydon. I felt the tension in his shoulders, saw the corded muscles in his neck, and I immediately knew what he was looking at.

Brendon with another woman.

Starting back at the holidays, I had noticed a change in both Braydon and Brendon, and I got the feeling it had to do with me. At first, I had worried that they had figured me out, knew that I was pining for Braydon when that wasn’t supposed to be part of our tryst. But then one night, Brendon had issued me an ultimatum—choose between them. Truthfully, that incident had shocked me, but somehow I’d managed to defuse the situation, refusing to do anything of the sort. Since then, our interactions had grown increasingly strained, and yes, I noticed that anytime Cheyenne’s name was mentioned, Braydon morphed into someone I didn’t recognize.

For whatever reason, he always had a volatile reaction to seeing Brendon talking to Cheyenne. I wasn’t privy to why that was, nor had I bothered to ask. I figured I was better off not knowing.

When Braydon released me, his growl reverberating through my limbs, I knew I had to do something. Placing my hand on his arm, I peered around him at Brendon and Cheyenne. I knew what Braydon saw when he looked at his brother and the famous country music singer. Two people clearly interested in one another, even though they tried to deny it to themselves and everyone else. It was that obvious, especially from the way they were standing so close together.

But the expression on Cheyenne’s face wasn’t one of admiration for the handsome man staring her down. No, the woman looked pissed.

Realizing Braydon was pulling away from me again, I called out to him, trying to keep my voice low. “What are you doing?”

There was no way I could let him confront Brendon. I had a feeling Braydon was doing it on my behalf, and as much as I wanted to tell him that I didn’t care, I couldn’t. Letting on to Braydon that I had feelings only for him was something I’d vowed I wouldn’t do.

For many reasons.

“Stop, Bray,” I said, my heels clicking on the floor as I rushed after him. “He’s just talkin’ to her.”

Braydon turned, his expression one of disbelief. “Are you blind?” he asked none too gently.

Well, okay.

My eyes widened in surprise as I stared up at him.

Hoping he couldn’t read my thoughts, I immediately masked my reaction to his outburst. After taking a deep breath, with my invisible shield securely in place once again, I squared my shoulders, ready to address him. I didn’t get a chance to say anything, though.

“Don’t do this. Today is Ethan’s day.” The rough, growling voice that drew my attention away from Braydon’s disapproving look belonged to none other than the oldest Walker brother, Travis. I twisted to look at him in time to hear, “You handle your issues with him later. Right now, right here, you’re gonna behave.”

I could tell it was taking a tremendous amount of restraint for Braydon not to say anything. If I had to guess, he was tempted to give Travis a salute and a “fuck off,” but to his credit, he kept his mouth shut.

And Travis was right. Even if he did have a crappy way of relaying that message to Braydon, today was Ethan’s day.

“Come on,” I encouraged Braydon, sliding my arm into his, hoping he’d listen. He was still glaring at Travis, the muscles in his square jaw ticking.

But then my shock returned full force when Braydon shrugged me off, effectively dislodging my hand as he said, “I’ve got to get out of here.”

Without another word, he stormed off. The only positive was that he was moving toward the door and not toward Brendon and Cheyenne. For that I was grateful, even if I felt like the biggest fool standing there while the man I loved walked away from me. Something he had never done before.

“Braydon,” I called, but he continued walking.

“Let him go,” Travis told me, his words causing me to spin around to face him. “He needs to cool off.”

Although I wanted to tear into him—for what, I didn’t know—I kept my lips sealed shut. I was hurt, and there was no reason for me to take that out on Travis.

Instead, I nodded and turned away, hoping no one noticed the agony I knew was written across my face right then.

Braydon

Upon returning to my house after running out of Ethan’s reception with little more than a good-bye to the happy couple, I ditched my tux, all but ripping the damn thing off. My anger was a tangible thing, but somehow I managed to refrain from doing any damage to the monkey suit.

After yanking on shorts and a T-shirt, I plopped my ass in my recliner and stared blankly at the television. The same thing I was doing when Brendon and Jessie walked inside.

At first, I was surprised to see her standing there, staring back at me as though I’d sprouted a third eyeball in the center of my forehead. I expected her to be pissed, but what I saw on her face was probably something closer to tolerance.

Yeah, she was pissed, but just as Jessie always did, she was trying to hide her reaction.

Avoiding looking at Brendon, I kept my eyes on her, watching as she moved across the room, that silky gown clinging to every soft curve. Damn it, she made me so fucking hard, and my frustration wasn’t helping.

In fact, it was amping up my response, something I knew wasn’t a good thing.

“Hey,” Jessie greeted me, her voice soft. “You doin’ all right?”

Leave it to her to pretend nothing had happened earlier.

And no, I fucking wasn’t doing all right. But I didn’t say as much. I wanted to grip her shoulders and shake her, insist that she tell me what she was feeling. But then I’d be a hypocrite because I was keeping just as much inside.

Turning my attention back to the television, I ignored her.

“He must be since he’s watchin’ the fucking nature channel,” Brendon stated sarcastically as he walked past the two of us heading toward his bedroom.

I glowered at my brother’s back, wishing like hell I had the nerve to confront him.

If it weren’t for Travis interfering, I would’ve done so earlier. Part of me was thankful that my brother had stopped me; the other part wanted to rip into Brendon in front of everyone, just to release some of the pent-up aggravation that was churning in my gut.

“Mind if I sit with you?” Jessie asked, interrupting my thoughts.

I shrugged, taking the time to peer up at her where she now stood beside my chair.

The next thing I knew, she was sitting. With me.

Or rather, on me was more like it.

My body immediately reacted to her nearness, the sweet, flowery scent of her shampoo mixed with the spicy, floral fragrance of her perfume. My head was spinning by the time I was holding her weight on my thighs.

“What are you doin’?” I growled softly, furious at her for ignoring the elephant in the room.

“The same thing you are,” she said softly, her voice lacking any of the sweetness that it had before.

We stared back at one another, my hands gripping her hips firmly while she straddled my lap. There was a tumultuous sea of emotion roiling between them, but as always, neither of them said what really needed to be said.

“Pretending nothin’ happened?” I finally asked.

“Exactly.”

“And sex is your answer to this?” I was pushing her. And I didn’t care that I was probably pissing her off in the process.

“Yes,” she insisted. “It is.”

I didn’t say a word in response. She was just attempting to soothe the tensions the only way she knew how— by distracting us with sex. It wasn’t that she did it on purpose, but that’s what Jessie proclaimed that she wanted.

Not that I had any intention of turning her away. I was in love. Not an idiot.

At the moment, I couldn’t think of anything better than sinking deep inside of her and forgetting everything, including my own damn name. But I wanted to do this my way tonight. Not hers. Not Brendon’s.

Jessie maneuvered so that she was straddling my lap fully, her knees wedged on either side of my hips, while her dress hiked up near her hips. Instinct had me placing my hands on her thighs, slowly sliding my fingers upward until the tips traced the silky softness of her panties.

When she leaned in to kiss me, I braced myself for the impact.

I groaned when her tongue slipped past my lips and delved into my mouth. She was fire in my arms, primed and ready. I loved when she was the aggressive one, which was about 50 percent of the time. Unfortunately, the other half of the time, Brendon was generally the one in control, leaving me the odd man out.

Not that I didn’t bring my own blend of heat and passion to our relationship. My goal was to pleasure Jessie, any way I saw fit.

In all the months that the three of us had been together, it seemed as though the intensity of our lust never managed to abate. And it didn’t matter if we fucked twice a week or twice a day.

Despite the warning bells clanging loudly in my head, I wasn’t able to resist her. I didn’t want to.

“Fuck.”

I opened my eyes when Jessie drew back, both of us turning our attention to Brendon, who had just walked into the room shirtless, his tuxedo pants unbuttoned.

“Don’t let me interrupt,” Brendon added gruffly. “I’m right behind you.”

I could sense the tension in my twin. Whatever had transpired between him and Cheyenne had left him as it always did, pissed off and frustrated.

There seemed to be a potent concoction of emotion building between them lately, yet for whatever reason, we were all pretending it didn’t exist.

Just as I was doing now.

I ignored my brother, turning back to Jessie. Reaching up, I cupped her face firmly yet gently, holding her right where I wanted her. I allowed my fingers to slide through her glossy caramel hair, pulling her against me until I was overwhelmed by her. The heat of her skin, the exquisite grip of her knees against my hips, the lushness of her breasts resting against my chest…

“Braydon,” she whispered, her breath warm against my lips.

“Hmm?” I asked, sliding my mouth down her jawline, inhaling her sweet scent, not wanting to let her go.

“Get naked.”

Another round of bells tolled loudly in my head, but once again, I ignored them. That was getting harder and harder to do, though. I knew I shouldn’t, knew I was supposed to be addressing the two of them because, for so many reasons, this situation was no longer working for me. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Not when Jessie was looking at me, talking to me, kissing me.

She was the only thing I had ever wanted just for myself, but I knew good and damn well that she wasn’t on the same page. She expected Brendon to join us. I wouldn’t put it past them to have discussed their plan on their way home from Ethan’s reception. That’s the way it worked.

But for a brief moment, I wanted to pretend otherwise. I wanted to pretend that this woman belonged only to me and that Brendon wasn’t standing just a few feet away, ready to indulge in the one woman I wanted for myself.

“Stand up,” Brendon instructed, taking charge just like he usually did.

And that was the cold, hard slap in the face that I needed.

I couldn’t do this anymore. I couldn’t share Jessie. Not with Brendon. Not with anyone. I wanted her for myself, and if she couldn’t accept that, then I didn’t want her at all.

As Jessie got to her feet, I moved with her, my hands sliding down to her hips, my eyes locked with hers.

“I’m not doin’ this,” I growled roughly.

Jessie’s eyes widened, her mouth falling open slightly.

“What?” Brendon questioned, looking genuinely perplexed.

“You heard me. I’m fuckin’ done.”

With that, I released her, wishing like hell she’d stop me, insist that she wanted me as much as I wanted her.

When that didn’t happen, I slipped into my room, slamming my bedroom door as a punctuation mark on what had turned into the shittiest night of my life.