📖 Excerpt
New Year?s Eve at Alluring Indulgence Resort
Ethan Walker
Keeping my distance from Beau Bennett was proving to be harder than I anticipated. Didn?t seem to matter how strong I was mentally or physically, when temptation was greater than all my combined strengths, I found myself fighting a losing battle. Didn?t mean I wasn?t still trying. As I moved through the vast, airy room, watching the various couples and threesomes, I wondered how I had ended up here.
And yes, I meant in the literal sense.
This resort, no matter how swank or how alluring my brothers made it, just wasn?t my thing. I'd rather be at Moonshiners, sitting at the bar, drinking a beer, and listening to the jukebox churn out tunes that were handpicked by the crowd. Or hell, sitting on my couch, watching reruns of anything was more appealing than getting dressed up to watch people in various states of undress in the lavish, kinky sex resort that wasn?t even open to the public yet.
But I wasn?t at Moonshiners, and I wasn?t at home on New Year?s Eve, which meant the only upside was that there was an open bar.
Since Alluring Indulgence Resort belonged to my brothers and they had gone through the hassle of inviting me, my conscience wouldn?t let me avoid the place. My brothers were proud, and I wanted to come to show my support. Figuring once would be enough, I opted to make tonight that night so I wouldn?t have to come back in a couple of weeks when the place was open to the masses who enjoyed being naked in public. Something I definitely didn?t need to see.
Despite the fancy design, the stylish furniture, and the impressive sound system, I wasn?t much into it. Glancing down at my watch, I was eagerly counting down the minutes until midnight, when I could escape without feeling guilty.
After retrieving another beer from the bar, I made my way to a far corner where no one was currently undressed or performing some sort of godforsaken sexual act right there in the open for everyone to see. Maybe it was out of character for a Walker, based on my brothers? reputations, but no, I wasn?t into other people watching me. Nor did I share my lovers. Ever. Call me old-fashioned, but I preferred the one-on-one in private.
But you liked when Beau watched.
Fuck. That was not the same thing. And I wouldn?t go so far as to believe I liked it.
However, the last person I wanted to think about tonight was Beau. Or how he had inadvertently shown up at the Walker Demolition shop just in time to watch Blake suck my dick only a few short weeks ago. Or how I had purposely made eye contact in the hopes that Beau would back off.
No such luck.
And the kiss we shared on Christmas was proof that Beau didn?t give up. Even worse, that kiss only reaffirmed just how little resistance I had to the man. As I fought to ignore him, the overwhelming memory of that kiss hit me.
?Awww, fuck,? I whispered. I was going to lose my control. Beau?s hand eased down, his thick, warm fingers sliding behind my neck, his thumb scraping sensually across my throat as he stared at me.
When Beau?s lips came down to rest on mine, I swore I would come right then and there. It was gentle, sweet, and so fucking tender, I didn?t know what to do. I was confused, angry. I didn?t want this, didn?t want Beau.
But, God, I did want him. With a desperation I'd never known before.
Without realizing it, I found my hands gripping the front of Beau?s shirt, pulling him closer until our tongues were entwined, the world and everyone in it diminishing with the taste of his kiss.
A chill ran through me, and I shook it off, not wanting to relive the moment yet again.
Beau seemed even more determined to test my good intentions these days, and I hated him for it.
No, wait. That was a lie.
I didn?t hate him. I despised the man because I wanted him so fucking much it hurt. And not just in the carnal sense? although I'd grown accustomed to the ever-present physical ache that couldn?t be eased?which I knew was downright stupid.
Beau and I had nothing in common, aside from the fact we shared the same career. I was in the closet, perfectly satisfied with keeping the eyes of the town out of my business, and Beau had recently had a come-to-Jesus moment or some shit.
I didn?t want to be his experiment, and I damn sure didn?t want something as complicated as what Beau represented.
Listen here, you little piece of shit. Lay off him. Understand? You?re damn lucky I haven?t told him what a fuckup you really are.
Fucking hell.
I heard Beau?s warning in my head as clearly as when I'd witnessed the conversation between Beau and Blake just a few minutes ago. I'd wanted to interrupt, to ask Beau to clarify that statement, but I had opted to sit back and let the two of them duke it out.
As I peered across the large open space, my gaze landed smack-dab on the one man I wanted to avoid tonight. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn?t turn away when Beau looked back at me. His gaze was like a heat-seeking missile finding its intended target, because my blood was boiling with a desperate need to find out what he actually had to offer me.
Sex. Only sex.
It wasn?t like it could be anything else because I didn?t want anything more complicated than that. And as far as my life went, sex was complicated enough.
I suggest you get him out of your system because the guy?s gonna kick your ass to the curb soon enough. And I?m gonna be waitin?. At that point, if you want to chat about whose balls are bigger, you find me.
I could still hear the sexy, lethal tone of Beau?s voice, the way he put Blake right in his place without ever laying hands on him.
And fuck yeah, I knew I should be offended for Blake, but in truth, I honestly didn?t give a shit. He could pick his own battles, and if he wanted to provoke Beau, then that was his business. I had never claimed to be interested in Blake for his intelligence. As it was, our ?relationship? was far less serious than Blake believed it to be. And I knew good and damn well that I wasn?t responsible for his misunderstanding of the situation.
?Hey, babe.?
Sighing, I took a lengthy swallow of my beer, my eyes still locked with Beau?s from across the dimly lit room. Without turning to look at Blake, I said, ?Don?t call me that.?
?What? You don?t usually have a problem with it.?
The hell I didn?t, but he had made a habit of not listening to me when I spoke, so it wasn?t surprising that he acted as though this was the first time he?d heard it.
Letting the silence grab me by the throat and threaten to strangle me, I wished midnight would hurry the hell up. I knew I shouldn?t have invited Blake, should?ve just attended this shindig solo, but I had an ulterior motive: keeping Beau at a safe distance. Granted, that plan had backfired almost as badly as that piece-of-shit truck that my brother Sawyer had bought, souped-up, and essentially ruined when he was a teenager.
?Want to find somewhere quiet?? Blake asked, taking a step closer.
Instinctively, I visually searched the open area, checking to see who might be watching us, or worse, listening.
No one.
Hell, there wasn?t a single person in the whole damn place who cared what I was doing. They were busy. Very busy. And half of them were fucking naked, so I was the last thing on their minds, I was sure.
Well, tonight he?s mine. So why don?t you take a seat over there and watch the show?
No can do. I only like to watch when there?s satisfaction to be found by everyone involved. But you go find him and don?t try to think about who he?s really thinking about when he?s fucking you.
A chill ran down my spine at the memory of Beau?s words. How the hell did the guy know what was going on in my head? And who the fuck was he to make a threat like that?
But no matter how pissed I wanted to be at his imperious attitude, I was still strangely drawn to the resolute, commanding cadence he?d used and the take-no-bullshit way he had handled Blake.
Fuck, it turned me on.
But the truth was, I was there with Blake, not Beau. And it didn?t matter how much Beau was baiting me, tempting me to want something I shouldn?t; I knew what I needed. Or, more accurately, what I didn?t need. A simple fuck buddy was working just fine.
Or it had been before Beau started shouldering his way into my life. Uninvited.
My world was spinning quite nicely, thank you very much. No major hiccups, no drama to interfere with my work, and no jealous lovers to deal with. I didn?t need complications. As far as I was concerned, alone was the only way to go. The less people knew, the better off they were. My main focus was to ensure I didn?t draw attention to myself, easy as that. And I was quite content with keeping my personal life on the down low. Up to this point, it had worked for me.
Taking another swig of my beer, I tried to break eye contact with Beau. Tried and failed. That electric current that sparked between us was still there, still blinding in its intensity, and I was hard-pressed to look away. There was no denying the fact that I wanted him. And vice versa.
I just wasn?t going to act on that attraction.
?Come on,? Blake encouraged, grabbing my arm securely and urging me toward the other side of the room.
Falling into step with him, I thought for a second that I was going to have to be the one to hold on to Blake. He was stumbling as he walked, which meant he had already overindulged.
Not surprising.
Looking up, I realized we were heading in the direction I was trying to avoid. Closer to Beau. Although my mind was resisting the action, I let my feet carry me forward, my mouth a grim line as I focused on not looking at the sexy blond cowboy casually watching us come toward him as though it didn?t bother him one bit. And maybe it didn?t.
Unable to help myself, I looked at Beau, our eyes meeting, holding. We were at a stalemate, and I hoped Beau understood that. I wasn?t backing down. No matter what. And it would do him a world of good to realize that. I didn?t want to be an asshole, but I wasn?t looking for complicated, and Beau, from what I knew about him, was the epitome of complicated.
Handsome, smart, funny, sexy ? and looking for something serious. That, by my definition, was complicated.
?Let?s head in there,? Blake said loudly, pointing to a set of closed doors on the wall behind where Beau stood. ?Crave?s not open yet, so we?ll have the place all to ourselves.?
I knew Blake was talking for Beau?s benefit, not mine.
I didn?t give a fuck where we went, and if Beau kept looking at me like that, I was going to lose every ounce of my self-control. Resisting the guy was becoming harder and harder, and I had a feeling he knew that.
Was that why Beau was pursuing me? Because he knew I would eventually cave? If that was the case, then he had another lesson to learn. I didn?t give in. What Blake and I had was all I could afford?consistent sex with one person and no emotional entanglements. After all, I wasn?t promiscuous; I just wasn?t interested in anything long-term.
As we passed Beau, I continued to make eye contact, wanting to ensure that he understood the rules of this game. I was with Blake. I didn?t give a shit if it was just for sex; I was still with Blake. It would keep the potential for anything serious at bay, and quite frankly, the sex was decent. Slightly monotonous, but nothing to complain about.
Blake opened the door to Crave, the nightclub within Alluring Indulgence that my younger brother Zane was responsible for. And just like he predicted, no one was there. There were dim lights that ran along the perimeter of the room, but for the most part, we were immersed in darkness.
Before I could say a word, I found myself pinned against the wall, Blake?s lean, corded body pressed firmly against mine.
?You don?t know how bad I want you right now,? Blake said, his green eyes sparkling with passion.
I pictured brown eyes. Smoldering hot, intensely sexy chocolate-brown eyes.
Shaking my head to dislodge the image of Beau, I downed the rest of my beer and set the bottle on one of the spare tables lined up along the wall beside me.
?Show me,? I taunted him, knowing just how much Blake liked to be dominated. It wasn?t that I favored being the top in my relationships?I actually didn?t give a shit either way?but it always seemed that I found submissive bottoms. Still, that was something I could deal with.
?Show you?? he asked, a grin tipping the corners of his mouth.
That was another thing about Blake?he enjoyed it when I told him what to do. He craved it. In an attempt to engage in the moment, I did as Blake expected. ?And if you really want to show me, you?ll get on your knees and suck my cock,? I demanded, keeping my voice low, unyielding.
You?re damn lucky I haven?t told him what a fuckup you really are.
Beau?s voice echoed through my mind, and I glanced around to see if the man was there. He wasn?t.
Forcing my attention to the here and now, I stared down my body at Blake, who was now kneeling in front of me, his hands fumbling with my belt buckle. I wondered how much Blake had had to drink tonight. Like usual, I was sure the answer was too much, but I wasn?t his keeper, so it actually wasn?t any of my business. And he wouldn?t be driving anywhere, so it wasn?t like I should give a shit.
Taking a deep breath, I dropped my head back against the wall, waiting for the rush I would get from the warmth of Blake?s mouth on my dick, the feel of his lips around my shaft, the phenomenal suction that would send me off the cliff and into temporary bliss.
?Mmmm,? Blake moaned when he got my cock free from my jeans. I didn?t look down, just slid one hand into his silky, dark hair and held him there. I wasn?t in a hurry, and I knew the release would come eventually, and it would be just that. A release. Hollow and temporary.
For the life of me, I couldn?t get the image of Beau out of my head. I imagined it was Beau?s blond hair I latched on to, Beau?s exquisite mouth that would lave my cock until I couldn?t breathe from the need to possess him.
When Blake?s mouth enveloped my hard length, his hand gripping the base of my shaft as he teased with his tongue at first, I squeezed my eyes shut.
Fuck, it felt ? I wanted to say it felt good, but for some reason, it just felt ? wrong.
What would Beau?s mouth feel like?
Gripping Blake?s hair tightly, I fought the disconcerting notion. I wasn?t going there. Not tonight. Not ever.
?Suck me, Blake,? I demanded, more to remind myself of who I was with than anything else. ?Fucking suck me harder.?
No matter how hard I tried to concentrate or how incredible his mouth felt on me, I couldn?t erase the mental images of Beau. And wouldn?t I fucking know it, my release was building, more aggressive in its intensity than anything Blake had ever pulled out of me. All because I envisioned Beau, the handsome, muscular blond, on his knees, sucking me deep into his mouth.
The sound of a door opening and shutting had me tilting my head to the side. Through hooded eyes I saw Beau, his arms crossed over his chest, my back ramrod straight as he stood some fifty feet away watching me. Like the last time, I didn?t look away, but I did grasp Blake?s hair tighter.
I couldn?t? Fuck.
I couldn?t do this again. It wasn?t like the last time when Beau had inadvertently stumbled upon us. Something in my chest hitched, an odd fluttering sensation that took me completely by surprise. My reaction to him wasn?t normal.
I didn?t want him. Didn?t need him.
And maybe if I repeated it enough, it would be true.
But no matter how much I fought my reaction to Beau, I didn?t want him to watch this. I didn?t want to hurt him, even if I needed to keep him at a distance. But I needed him to understand.
And I needed to remember there was a line drawn in the proverbial sand, one I wasn?t willing to negotiate with Beau.
Blake?s enthusiasm increased; the way he sucked my dick fervently into his mouth, drawing me deeper and deeper, made my skin tingle.
With my eyes still locked with Beau?s, I noticed the embanked fury etched on his attractive face, even from across the room. When his expression turned to one of disdain, I suddenly felt like a royal fuckup.
All it would take was one word, and I could have Beau. I knew I could. I could have him in a million different ways. But I knew tomorrow would be the same as today, and although I had committed to living in the illusion I had built around myself, a man like Beau would never survive like that. He was the kind of guy who shouldn?t be hidden from the world. He should be treasured, loved? Something I wasn?t capable of.
Not anymore anyway.
I forced my gaze from Beau and looked down at Blake for the first time since Beau walked in the room. To my horror, Blake was also looking over at Beau, a grin tilting the very corners of his lips while he continued to swallow my cock.
I growled, an overwhelming possessiveness gripping me by the balls. Latching on to Blake?s hair rigidly, I ground out the only word that formed in my mind. ?Stop!?
Pulling away from Blake, I fumbled to shove my dick back into my jeans, my hands trembling as I did, my lungs burning from the effort to suck in air.
I did not want Blake even looking at Beau.
Mine.
Fuck. Shit. Damn.
No, damn it, he wasn?t. Beau was not mine. Never would be.
I swallowed hard, then turned to look at Beau. Before I knew what I was doing, I was storming across the room toward him, my hands balled into fists at my sides.
?This doesn?t change a fuckin? thing,? I bit out through clenched teeth.
Beau stared back at me, his original derisive expression morphing into what appeared to be determination. And that only pissed me off more. I didn?t want him reading something into this when it meant nothing.
For a moment I thought he was going to touch me, to pull me close, and in a bout of lunacy, I could envision falling into his arms, grabbing on to him for all I was worth. That?s when I realized I was losing my mind. I wanted Beau to touch me. To pull me up against his hard body, to kiss me the way he had on Christmas, his touch so tender, so warm that I had temporarily forgotten how to breathe.
Before I could reprimand myself for even considering something that was an absolute impossibility, Beau spoke. ?It changes everything, E. Everything.?
Sonuvabitch.
Damn it all to fucking hell. I knew right then and there that Beau was right. Things had changed. I'd never been possessive of anyone, never wanted to protect someone else, but seeing Blake goading Beau had awakened something primitive within me.
Something I didn?t even know how to handle.
Turning, I headed toward the door, wanting to forget about Blake and Beau, but before I could reach the security that came from getting as far away from Beau as possible, I stopped in my tracks.
With a backward glance, I took a deep breath and then told the biggest lie of my adult life. ?Nothing?s changed, Beau. I don?t want this.? I paused, swallowed. ?And I don?t want you.?
