It drove me crazy that I could not get my mind off Ransom.
Ever since he’d disrupted my workday and instructed me to be at his place after shift, I’d thought of little else besides what he had in store for me.
Now, as I closed and locked up the clinic, my heart rate was picking up speed, my breathing more labored than I was used to. Which was saying something considering my daily five mile run along the beach with Cody.
Not that I would admit it to Ransom, but I had rarely scened with a Dominant since him. Only for a short time years ago. And never here in the land of sin and debauchery where I could’ve played whenever I wanted. The trainers weren’t discreet in offering, but I’d never taken any of them up on it. It had never felt right to me. Truth was, a lot of things hadn’t felt right to me since Ransom and I parted ways.
That didn’t mean I’d gone without sex. Hell, I was a hot-blooded male in my prime. I wasn’t a glutton for punishment.
I still hadn’t made up my mind as to whether or not I would go to Ransom’s as he’d instructed. Part of me wanted to, the other part was scared shitless to give in. Our breakup hadn’t been on good terms and I had no idea what to expect from him now. He’d said he missed me and it had sounded sincere, but even that couldn’t erase the memories of so long ago, of the pain we’d caused each other back then. Our breakup had been brutal on so many levels, something neither of us had wanted, but both of us knew we’d needed at the time.
Did I regret what happened? Only every second of every day. After all, I was the one who’d called things off. I had my reasons though.
“You headed out?”
I jumped at the sound of Cody’s voice, glancing over my shoulder to see him standing in the doorway.
“Yeah.” I turned back to the cabinet, inserting my key to lock it. “You?”
“Thought you might want to grab dinner, hang out.”
By hang out, Cody was referring to sex because yes, he was the man I tended to spend my free time with. Sex was just one of the ways we passed the time. There were no expectations on either part because we were looking for pretty much the same thing, something we weren’t capable of giving one another. And the sex … let’s just say Cody was supreme in the bedroom. Very creative. Very responsive.
It wasn’t serious, never had been, but I liked Cody. Cared about him, even. As for a relationship, he wasn’t the sort of man I could ever envision myself with and I knew the same could be said about me for Cody. But we meshed and sometimes that was all that mattered.
“I’ve got a thing,” I said, surprising myself.
I glanced sideways. “Why would you think that?”
Cody laughed. “Why would you think I wouldn’t think that?”