Braydon

I dropped the pitchfork and wiped my forehead with my T-shirt, which had been hanging over the stall rail.

Summer in Texas royally sucked. In July, especially. With temps soaring into the high nineties by ten o’clock in the morning, the air thick enough to choke a man, I wanted nothing more than to find a cool place to sit for a few minutes.

And to think, it was only seven.

But I had things to do, which was why I was in the barn early.

Today was supposed to be my day off, but since I couldn’t sleep, I’d opted to pull on my jeans and do something constructive. Pitching hay into one of the empty stalls had seemed like just what I needed to burn off some excess energy.

It wasn’t helping.

Grabbing one of the three water bottles I’d brought with me, I twisted off the cap and swallowed half the water in one gulp as I peered out the open doors. I could see Cooper and Tessa’s house from where I stood. Just a short while ago, I’d noticed the couple sitting on the back porch. I knew the two of them usually had breakfast together after handling their early-morning chores, and it looked like today hadn’t been any different.

Finishing off the first bottle, I tossed it into the wheelbarrow that sat empty beside me. Reaching for the pitchfork, I let the scent of fresh hay fill my mind as I forced everything else out. That was one of the benefits of manual labor: I could spend hours working and not thinking about how screwed-up my life had become.

I had no idea how much time had passed, but I worked my way through three stalls, dumping hay into each one and then spreading it across the floor. By the time I heard someone clear their throat behind me, I was ready to drop.

“What are you doin’ up this early on a Sunday? Today’s supposed to be your day off.”

The deep bass, accompanied by a heavy Southern drawl, had me glancing over to see Cooper Krenshaw. He had one booted foot on the bottom rung of the stall door, his forearms resting on the wood beam, hands hanging limply over. His concerned expression was one that I had grown used to in recent weeks. And not only from him.

Cooper was Tessa’s famous husband and the man who’d given me a job several months ago. It was kind of strange how close the Walker clan had become with Tessa and our other cousins during the past year, considering we hadn’t had much contact with her growing up. But as time continued to pass, we were becoming quite close to her and her family.

Of course, we had known about Tessa, but due to a family rift in generations before ours, we had never been close with her. But lately, we’d all sworn to rectify that, everyone agreeing that family was the most important thing. Despite Tessa’s initial resistance to opening up to a long-lost part of her family, she and her brothers, Adam and Jack, had been relatively positive about embracing the new friendship. And now I owed her so much for helping me through my tough time these last few months.

“Couldn’t sleep,” I told him. Not that my insomnia was a new development. That had started many months ago and hadn’t let up in recent days.

Cooper pushed off the rail, walking to the opposite side of the wide path that split the stable in two, and returned with one of the remaining bottles of water. Without a word, he tossed the plastic toward me. Catching it with one hand, I leaned the pitchfork against the wood wall and resigned myself to having to talk. Apparently Cooper intended to stay awhile.

“You’re gonna work yourself into the ground, you know that?”

I laughed as I tipped the bottle to my lips. That wasn’t the first time Cooper had mentioned that.

In the three months I had been hanging out with them, they’d pelted me with more questions than I cared to answer. And every time they dug just a little too deep, I brushed them off. That hadn’t swayed either of them in their quest to get me to open up.

“I’m good,” I lied. I wasn’t good. Far from it. But that was the same song and dance I had endured for the past few months.

Physically, I’d never been better. Apparently working from sunup to sundown did a body good. But it didn’t do a damn thing to help me sleep at night, which had been my hope when I first arrived at the ranch.

“Brendon know where you are yet?” Cooper asked, reaching for the last bottle of water once I finished the other and then tossing it to me.

“Not unless my dad told him,” I answered, looking directly at Cooper.

“You still not plannin’ to go home?” he questioned, sipping coffee from a thermos he’d brought with him and peering at me from beneath the rim of his Stetson.

“I don’t know what the hell I’m gonna do,” I admitted in defeat.

Just last night, after falling into bed, I had asked myself the same question. After hours of tossing and turning, I’d come up with the same answer I just gave Cooper. As much as I wanted to go back, I didn’t know if I could just yet.

It wasn’t that I didn’t want to go home. I did. At least to visit. According to my father, that was a must in the next couple of weeks, and I understood. I really did. I missed my family. But even after all this time, I was still so fucking confused over what I was doing, the thought of going home didn’t sit well with me. Chances were, I wouldn’t leave if I went back. And nothing had changed since I left. I knew that much. Jessie would never forgive me for leaving without saying a word, and I didn’t blame her.

“You know you’re gonna have to go back, don’t you?” Cooper stated, his voice low.

“I know,” I confirmed.

The question was when.

Not in the mood to get into a long, drawn-out conversation, I came up with an excuse. “Once I’m done here, I’ve got a couple of errands to run. Need anything while I’m out?”

“Naw,” Cooper answered in that thick drawl. “Tessa and I have to run into town later.” Pushing away from the wall he’d been leaning on, Cooper nodded, obviously accepting my brush-off. “Tessa asked me to come down here. She said if you’re still around, stop by the house for dinner tonight.”

That was the way Cooper ended almost every conversation these days. It was as though the man expected me to head out at any moment. And hell, maybe that was a safe assumption because half the time, I didn’t even know what I was going to do.

Tossing the last of the empty bottles into the wheelbarrow, I grabbed my shirt from the rail and pulled it on over my head. “I’ll do that,” I assured Cooper.

When he disappeared out into the bright morning sun, I finished up before heading out the same way the other man had.

By the time I reached my truck, my cell phone was ringing. I glanced at the screen and sighed. I let the call go to voicemail. When would Brendon get the hint? I had no desire to talk to him, which was why I ignored every one of his calls. I wasn’t going back, and I damn sure didn’t want to talk about it.

As it was, Travis had called me late last night after he’d talked to Pop. He’d given me hell until I finally broke, letting my oldest brother know that I was never going back.

“Mom wants to know when you’re comin’ home,” Travis barked.

I pulled the phone away from my ear briefly and stared at it. Was he serious?

“I talked to Mom this mornin’,” I informed my brother when I settled the phone against my ear once more.

“Then you know she’s worried. When are you comin’ back?”

“Don’t know,” I answered, dropping onto the worn sofa in the small house I was renting while I was in Devil’s Bend.

“You need to figure it out. You’ve got a job here and you’ve abandoned that. And the rest of us.”

“I haven’t abandoned anything,” I countered. “I talked to Jared and he said things are fine.”

“Braydon,” Travis growled again, and this time I heard the warning in my brother’s tone. I hated when he tried to control everything.

“I’m not ready to come back, Trav,” I said softly.

“It’s been three goddamn months, Bray. It’s time you stop actin’ like a fuckin’ child and come home.”

“Fuck you. If that’s the way you want it, then I’m never comin’ back. How’s that?”

It had been childish, and it had also been a lie, but at the time, I’d been so furious that I let the words roll right off my tongue. A heated argument had ensued, but in the end, I convinced Travis that this was my choice. He hadn’t been happy, but he’d let it go. Or at least I thought he had. Knowing Travis, the man was cooking up something.

Right now, I just needed to get in my truck and head back to the small house I was renting from Tessa and Cooper so I could shower. And by renting, I was actually helping out at the equestrian center the couple had opened last year, and they were providing me with a place to stay free of charge. While Dalton Calhoun, their partner in the center, was on tour, I had offered to help out. The timing had been perfect. They offered to pay me, and I didn’t refuse. Arriving in Devil’s Bend had been my way of starting anew, which meant I had to have a job. And money. Initially, I had asked for room and board in lieu of money, but they’d insisted on paying me something as well.

My phone rang again as I steered my truck down the dirt road that led to the small house. A quick glance at the screen said it was Brendon again.

Damn.

Once again, I let it go to voicemail.

When my phone started ringing for the third time before I even stepped foot in the front door, I punched the Talk button and put the phone to my ear.

“What?” I barked into the phone.

“Get your ass home,” Brendon said by way of a response.

I sighed. “Is that why you’re blowin’ up my phone?”

“Yes, Goddammit.”

“Why? Is somethin’ wrong?” I asked, suddenly worried.

“No. It’s just time to cut the shit and get your ass home.”

“I’m not comin’ back,” I informed him, trying to force away the mental picture of Brendon and Jessie together. Anytime I thought of home, I thought of them, consoling one another in my absence. The thought made my stomach roil.

“The fuck you aren’t,” Brendon bit out. “Either you get your ass back here, or I’m comin’ to get you.”

“You don’t even know where I am,” I argued.

“You’re wrong,” he said sternly. “I’ve known from day one that you hauled ass to Devil’s Bend. I was tryin’ not to be an asshole and drag you back, but this is fuckin’ ridiculous. Everyone’s worried about you. Not to mention, you’ve got a job here. Walker Demo ain’t gonna run itself.”

“Jared’s doin’ a fine job, from what I hear,” I retorted.

Around the first of the year, my cousin Jared had come in like a tornado and whipped the place into shape, picking up where Travis left off when he’d gone to manage the Alluring Indulgence Resort.

But that wasn’t the point.

I knew we could go on like this all day. Neither of us ever backed down.

Well, that wasn’t exactly true. Brendon never backed down. Eventually, I would have to cave on an argument or we would go on for hours. My twin had managed to take the majority of the Walker hardheadedness gene in utero.

“Bray, this is bullshit,” he said, lowering his voice as though he was trying to keep someone from hearing.

“Is Jess there with you?” I asked abruptly. As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I wanted to kick myself. I didn’t want to know.

“Yeah. She’s here.”

Of course she was. Where else would she be? The two of them had probably been seeing each other for the last three months while I was out of the picture. At this point, going back home to Coyote Ridge would probably cause more problems than there had been before I left. And that was the last damn thing I needed.

I flipped on the television, hoping my brother would get the hint. I wasn’t interested in talking, and I damn sure wasn’t ready to go home.

Liar.

“Is someone there with you?” Brendon asked.

I snagged the remote and muted the television. Two chicks were arguing, which probably sounded like I had company.

“No. No one’s here,” I assured him. Why I even bothered, I didn’t know.

Actually, I did. I didn’t want Jessie to think I had someone here, and if she was listening in, then that’s exactly what she would think. As much as I wanted to punish Brendon, I didn’t want to hurt Jessie.

“Fuck,” Brendon said in a rush. “Get home, would ya? Drop the woman at her house and just keep drivin’. You’ll be here within an hour.”

I didn’t miss the fact that Jessie had probably just heard my brother’s instruction and now she would think I had run off with some chick.

“I’m not—”

Brendon’s voice came through the phone, this time even lower than before. “Bray, get your ass back here. Jessie’s worried. Really worried. You can’t keep this shit up forever. And we need to talk.”

We did need to talk, but I wondered just what Brendon wanted to talk about. Probably not the same thing as what I had in mind.

Neither of us said anything for several moments. I was just about to tell him that I had things to do when my twin said, “Please tell me you’re gonna drop the woman and come home.” This time, I heard an unfamiliar plea in my brother’s tone. Brendon didn’t usually ask nicely.

“There is no woman, dammit,” I bit out, tossing my hat on the bar.

“So you’re comin’ home?” he asked, this time sounding hopeful.

“Fuck.” I exhaled.

“I’ll be waitin’ for you,” Brendon finally said, and the phone disconnected.

I dropped my phone on the counter and then put both hands on my head, tilting my head back and closing my eyes.

Going home was inevitable. I knew that.

I just didn’t know why I was choosing today to finally give in.