Looking back on the past year...
For the past few days, I’ve been thinking about everything that I’ve done and haven’t done in 2023. Do you do that? Reflect at the end of the year as you start to look forward?
It’s rare for me because I am constantly looking into the future, worrying about the next thing that needs to be done. But these days, I’m doing quite a bit of things I didn’t do before. There’s no way to deny that this year has changed me in many ways. So let’s reflect, shall we?
Writing/Reading
Total words written: 902, 020
Total books published: 13
Total giveaways: 58
Total books read: 47 (that I remembered to track, anyway)
Based on the numbers, I think it’s been a pretty good year. I spent a lot of it writing and publishing. I wrote my first reverse harem book, which turned into a series of books – Primal Instincts – and I created a new series – The Jamesons of Coyote Ridge. Brantley Walker got one in there, and so did Rafe, who’s been waiting a really long time. All in all, I’m rather proud of what I accomplished in 2023. But more importantly, I’m grateful to all of you for helping me realize this dream of mine. Without you, it would be impossible, so thank you from the bottom of my heart.
This Year I Tried New Things
Okay, so I guess the heading should say “thing” rather than the plural. Then again, there’s a good chance I’ve simply forgotten the other new things I did (I’m old, that happens), but one definitely stands out.
I watched Star Wars for the first time!!
I was born one year before Star Wars was released, and I’d never seen any of them until this year. Steven is a huge Star Wars fan, so I figured I should check out what all the hype was about.
I watched Star Wars first, followed by The Empire Strikes Back, and finally, Return of the Jedi. There are plenty more, but I’ve been told those 3 are the best of them all.
I honestly didn’t know what to expect, but I was pulled right in. They were amazing.
Next year, I think I’m going to check out Harry Potter. 🙂
Hennessy, Moscato, Heineken
Total walks: didn’t count, but there were a lot.
Total car rides: More than I expected. They LOVE car rides.
Total doggy kisses: Not nearly enough.
It was a busy year for the pups. When they weren’t waiting for me to finish writing, they had their own things going on.
Back at the beginning of the year, Hennessy had knee surgery. Have you ever tried to keep a golden retriever from doing anything for 12 weeks? It’s impossible. Literally. But we did the best we could, and he healed without issue.
Just a few weeks ago, Heineken had surgery on his teeth. He had several bad ones, and our previous vet basically told us he had to live with it because he was too old for surgery. There was no way for us to pretend he wasn’t in severe pain, so we found another vet (who the dogs love, btw), and they did their magic. Heineken is no longer in pain and is back to his sweet self.
Moscato was introduced to the adventure of the car. Luckily for us, she takes her monthly trips to the vet for her allergy shot in stride because she loves the time she gets to spend in the car. And because she’s such a good girl, we take her to Starbucks every Saturday morning simply so she can have a fun ride (and get a pup cup).
Next year, they’re hoping for more walks, more car rides, and more pup cups, and like I do every day, I plan to give them what they want.
With love comes loss
I listed the good things first because if you’ve ever lost anyone, you know that grief has the power to overwhelm everything else, and while this has been a painful ending to the year, I’m taking it one day at a time.
I lost my mother this year, and it has been by far the most difficult loss of my life.
You always hear that you’ll regret it if you don’t make amends when you have the chance. I spent years arguing that was bullshit because my mother and I were estranged. I told myself that if my mother loved me, she wouldn’t have pushed me away. Turns out now that she’s not here, none of that matters. Not the anger or the hurt because the loss is still significant.
I’ve spent the past two months in a fog, caught off guard by thoughts of her so often. I’ve cried more in recent weeks than I have in the last few years combined. There are so many things I would’ve done differently. Now it’s too late. It’s going to take me a long time to find a new balance.
Ending the year on a positive note
Tonight, I plan to spend the rest of 2023 at home with the pups, the hubs, and a bottle of wine. We’ll definitely have dinner, probably watch a movie, and try our best to stay up until midnight, although we’ll likely fall asleep by ten because
⬇⬇ THIS IS HOW WE ROLL ⬇⬇
Yep, that’s how we’ll be ringing in the new year.
No matter how you spend your evening, I hope you’ll be safe
and I want to wish you a
4 Responses
I lost my mom this year also. While we weren’t estranged, sometimes she wasn’t the easiest and she drove me back into therapy a number of times.
That said, it’s this weird void that exists within you. You can’t really fill it, all you can do is learn to live with the loss. I’m so sorry for yours.
I’m so sorry for your loss, Linda. And you’re exactly right. That’s what it feels like. A void. A hole that wasn’t there before. There are times when the hole is covered and out of sight, but then suddenly, it’s right there, and I feel the emptiness.
So sorry for your loss. I absolutely know how you feel, I lost my mom 4 years ago and all the difficulties we endured in our relationship are moments I missed out on. Grief is a beast. I’ll be thinking of you 🫶🏻
I love you ❤️
Chancy and I are always around to talk.
On a lighter note, Star Wars! Girl, YES! Use the force!